Collaboration#2: Disability: Impact on Families

Good Morning 

I understand to a certain degree how life changing having a disability can be.  When I was 12 yrs I fell off stairs and ended up fracturing my left hip but the doctors at the hospital never did any proper examination and told my mom it was just a torn ligament and gave instructions based on that, my mom was a struggling single parent and public health care was our only option so she followed the doctors instruction and I walked with what I thought would be a temporary limp. Months passed and then a year and it never got better so she took me back and then they did an X-ray and that’s how we found out about the fracture but by then it was too late it had already healed and this meant I would permanently have a limp or my mom would have to pay privately to have it corrected which we couldn't afford. This affected my early years I was shy and self conscious and hated all the questions that people would ask and of course the other kids teased me and I acquired quite a few creative nick names from them. Thankfully as I got older I have been able to accept myself and my confidence grew but the journey to love the skin you’re in continues.  In society anyone who is not the same as everyone else is made fully aware of the fact. The “other” is feared and made to feel like an alien or outcast, so everyone fights so hard to be considered normal never realizing that it is the differences that make a person unique and special.

We all can empathize and some of us even know what it is to be different or cope with what others view as a disability but we never stop to think about what the family of a disable person goes through or how they cope. In this post which is a collaboration with Scottypedia(Damian Scott) I want focus on this aspect because lets face it they go through the journey with you whether they want to or not and I think that they endure all of the hurt and ask God the same questions that the person with the disability does.

Damien shared with me the fact that his dad became legally blind after a struggle with Diabetes and Glaucoma, he gave insight into the changes that he and his mom had to make to live with his dad and ensure his comfort and health. These situations are never easy and I commend him for sharing his journey, I hope you will check out his blog and read his story.

Many families have had to change their lifestyle and adapt due to a family member having a disability and a friend of mines was kind enough to share her story with me. This friend was blessed with four sons and when her first son was born she was so happy and about four months later her world turned upside down, she got him tested because he did not respond to sounds. He was found to be profoundly deaf, she was really sad about it and didn't react well to the situation she told me that she cried a lot at first; it was something that she never expected to have to deal with. I can tell you as a mother the most fervent prayer whilst pregnant was “lord let my child be healthy” so you tend not to be prepared for anything other than a bouncy beautifully healthy baby, and in her case it was not something visible, you can’t watch a deaf person and automatically know that they are deaf. She described the experience as challenging, if you read one of my earlier posts about circumnavigating the deaf associations you’ll understand what she went through.

She had to learned as he learned and initially enrolled him in a program at DRETCHI but she said in hind sight it did not make sense for him to be there as it was more geared for children who could hear. She also mentioned that at the time none of DRETCH’s staff knew how to use sign language. DRETCHI also provided him with a free hearing aide but he could only hear really loud noise if he wore it and he didn't like using it.  She had to learn sign language to communicate with him and she got him enrolled in the Cascade School for the Deaf when he was 3 years old. She had to go to school with him every day and stay because of the distance; she eventually ended up being an assistant at the school. Home she had to label everything in the house to help him learn about his environment and a major challenge she faced was teaching him to read. Her second son is deaf also but she said that the experience was easier than the first because she already knew the procedure and how to go about everything. Her last two boys are hearing but bilingual because signing is their second language. They all have a great relationship with each other and she said that even members of her community learned to sign so that could communicate with her sons.

She describes the experience as life changing and humbling. She is partly happy and sad, happy because her kids turned out good but sad because of the way that society treats people who are deaf. She is worried about the future and her sons’ ability to provide for their self financially because even though qualified it is difficult for them to get jobs. Her oldest son now works at Xtra Food supermarket and she described his frustration because he can’t get a better job even though he is trained in office administration and her younger son is in form five and sitting CXC soon.

How do you think you would cope if you were placed in a similar situation, can you imagine how different your life would be. These types of situations can impact families on a financial, mental and emotional level and some families grow stronger and closer but there are families that get destroyed because it is too much for them to deal with.

This journey has given me a lot of food for thought and makes me appreciate my family especially my mom for her ability to cope in our situation.